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Why is it a blur? Why can't I remember a lot of things from the 10th and the 11th grade? I feel like I was sleeping through out those years and woke up only at the start of the 12th grade. Or I was drinking since the start of year 10 and had a massive blackout for 2 years straight. I have thought a lot about this and I still have no solid answer. Maybe I felt so not me that I shut everything out. Maybe I didn't feel liked or even appreciated. Maybe I thought it would be easier to leave than stay with people who clearly didn't give a damn about me. Maybe I didn't like these years and I put them as far as they can be put in my memories. Maybe I was ashamed. Maybe. Just maybe there is another reason which I am not aware of. I don't know. Honestly. I remember some parts of it, but mostly nothing. Absolutely nothing. It is so weird if you think about it. I study 3 years in high school but clearly remember only one. The past year has been challenging, full of happiness, tears, joy, unexpected surprises, crushes, honesty, hurt, hatered, misunderstandings, fear, anxiety, rush, love, but above all - I was me and I was happy. For the last year I finally learned that mistakes make me a better person, that it is ok to be sad, not be good at something, to fail at something, to be true to myself, to not care what other may think of your opinion because it is YOUR opinion, but at the same time learn to listen. Before that there was only fear and tears, nothing else. Maybe that is the part of that whole reason. But I am still not sure. No matter how hard things get there is always a way out. Even if in the first glance it doesn't seem that way or doesn't come across that way. There is Always A Way Out With Happiness. Let happy and positive vibes with a little hint of reality to guide you and you will achieve whatever it is you want to achieve!