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Hey there, beautiful,
I don't know when you are going to read this and if you'll ever read it, but i do know that i have to write this to you. To me.
There is a lot of going on - good, bad, scary, easy - every last thing that can happen...does. You are in the last grade of school and it is getting the best of you. You don't have enough sleep, because for at least an hour, you want to spend it for yourself. You are not just tired physicaly, but also mentally. School takes a bunch of energy and it never gives it back. It takes a lot of strength, fear and sometimes even tears, but know this - it will get better, because you are going towards the goal that you and only YOU want in life. Keep doing what you are doing, even more. But remember - don't push yourself more than you can bear.
You are also helping others. All of your classmates the way you can. At least you try, there are sometimes events that you don't want to help, because you don't know how.
You are really appreciating your country events and respecting everyone who fought for your country to be free. You are so thankful, it is just sad that you can't tell - thank you - to them in person.
Sometimes i am guilty of not taking in appreciation everything i have. I mean, i can eat more than 3 times a day, because i have food, but some places would be happy just for one meal a day. I live blessed life no matter how hard it sometimes is, and i won't take anything for granted.
Speaking of your personal life - it still sucks. You have once again fallen for the boy of your dreams. Literally. Today is the 12th of November of the year of 2016, this year will mark a 2 year old crush on this boy. You can't help not to think about him. You are thinking about telling him how you feel until the Christmas break, until the New Year. You are trying to find the opportunity, the right words and the right feelings to express, but with this boy it is hard. You could tell every other boy how you feel ,you wouldn't care, but with him..it is different. You are scared, happy, miserable, full of joy all in one. But you have to remember this - if you go the boy, don't ever let him go. Be the best girlfriend you can possibly be and most of all, be yourself. And if you didn't get the boy, don't worry, someone will come in your life and change it upside down. Someone will take all these feelings and make them crystal clear, but until then -
L o v e yourself and be who y o u want to be.
Love and best regards,
Your past self.