My summer!

Today is the 1st of September and you know what that means - let's go to school! I am 50/50 on this. I want to study, bet don't want to get up early. I want to learn more, but don't want to do my homework, i want to have good grades, but not have tests. Since the summer is officially over i can look back on all of good and all of the bad that had happened. Let's start from the beginning, shall we?

1. JUNE - It was the start of the summer and new beginnings. Me and my friend said to each other: if we don't get a boyfriend or at least a kiss this summer, than it is a waste of time, because we thought that this summer is going to be one of a kind. And it was. For me June was filled with birthdays and happiness. It was one of the happiest months in my entire life! - my sister and cousin turned 26, i turned 18 and it was a pretty BIG deal. Also, school had just ended and i was extremely happy. My best friend Kathrine had a graduation from the 9th grade and it also was one of the happiest moments of my life - to see my best friend grow into the woman that she is! I thought that my entire summer will be like that and that i had no worry one the planet for me. But little did i know.

2. JULY - This month hit me hard. I still don't know why, but something clicked in me and all the sad/bad things started to come back. I remembered my ex and everything sad that had happened in my life. I started to lose my relationship with my mum, i was really irretated all the time and not myself, i was putting a fake smile even though i was dying inside. I broke my friendship with a close friend of mine just to get out of stress and don't let her feel like she is a crap. Even though i was. I was the problem. I almost fell into the depression and i didn't know what i would've done if i hadn't gotten better. But i did and i realised that i had to do something to make myself feel better.

3. AUGUST - And i started to work on my recovery and happiness. I apologized to my mum and i told her that my life hasn't been the best and i will try to fix it. It is like a plate - you drop it and it shatters, but you still have the marks even if you glue it back together. That was my life. But i TRIED. I tried to be more happy and i found my happiness. Slowly, but it came to me. Of course, i wasn't still me , but i tried my best. I am still having problems my anxiety about trying new things, but i am fighting it will all the power i have. I let it take over me 2 weeks ago, but when it was THE time for my cousins wedding i thought - f**k it! - i am going to do this! And i did, it was the most memorable time of my life, and something - someone - really amazing came out of it, so i am happy finally! I hope that i won't be that person that i was in July. I will try my best to be who i am and not worry about what people think of me! I will love myself!