I miss him...

You know how in the last story i told you that i am moving on from John? Well, no…akhm…Lilly and i were having a chat about what should i do, and she said that i didn’t have to worry, i’ll fall in love with someone else. I wasn’t paying attention at first, but then it hit me. She was reffering to John, so she said that i am in love with John. I was denying it at first and for couple of days, but then i cought myself thinking about him every single day and night, he was the first thing i thought about when i woke up and the last thing- before i went to bed. And i understood that Lilly was right, i am in love with John… I never thought it would be possible to fall for someone like that without being in a relationship with them. I made fun of girls in my head when they said, that they are so in love(but they were a couple for less than a week). I though that they didn’t get it. It’s not something you can joke around with…It is a real deal. Now i understand these girls, and i am truly sorry that i never belived them. But when i look into Johns eyes, i see a sea with secrets and happiness. Sea filled with memories and emotions. I get so nervous when i am around him, and i get so scared when there is a chance that i might fail in front of him in something. I know that he doesn’t know how i feel, but it is feeding on my blood for how much i miss him and how much i am in love with him…